solitude

Miserere mei, Deus

You sit
by the bus stop
and study the event
it’s a place
where you’ve cycled
innumerably a place
where you sit
and watch the light
dissolve in the liquid
of your eye
you’re there because
you don’t know where to be
you’re there because
you’d like to witness
the event
and you see things happening
once and units of behavior
he was speaking to me
through a cloud of thought
through a wind of misery
through a vapor of memory
through a rain of laughter
he was another
man far away from everything
another or other man
another star failing in the dark
another strand of conscious throe
a man from denmark
in the glow of streetlight
toasting and talking spanish
transmitting his monad of sadness
and everything being faraway
like a flash above
our private picture of
solitude.

21st century Poetry

a minute’s peace

when 3:13
it was foggy
and too careless
to measure the vastness of solitude

when 3:15
a slither of divine ache
clashed against a clump
of earth
probably though
it was against my
awfully wakeful heart.

when 3:17
my extended hand
kneads the air
and the eyes slough
a peel of memory
towards a new gloriousness

when 3:29
I show my membership card
staff smiles. They know me.
I ask: what’s the time?
3:29, they say.

3: 38
the southernmost minute’s gone

3:39
without consenting to our isolated reasons

when 3:43
I begin reading:

Religion is the last subject that the intellect beings to understand. In our youth we may have resented, with proud superiority, its cherished incredibilities; in our less confident years we marvel at its prosperous survival in a secular and scientific age, its patient resurrections after whatever deadly blows by Epicurus, or Lucretius, or Lucian, or Machiavelli, or Hume, or Voltaire. What are the secrets of this resilience?

when 3:45
I don’t want to smear eternity
with another coat of futility

when 3:59
got up comically
confusedly
coquettishly
can’t wait for spring to come

when 4:01
outside again
ready to concoct
some opaque purpose.

when 4:05
with a beer
throwing away the wreaths
of opinion that cling to my hair.

when 4:26
murmuring:
everyman’s angelic grave

4:26
surrender the surrounding suffering

4:27
for a sparse minute of peace.

Contemporary Poetry

red purpose

purl –
all being
swollen
in niches .
scattered salt
on the bare table
as solitudes of rock
an image of a cloud
like an errant soul .
red paint –
the smell of transmutation
a simple
color serving as garment
for the brief
invisible visit
of purpose.

Nihilistic Poetry Blog

this raw piece of paper

this raw piece of paper
in this nostalgia
I place existence
entirely as a dream
as the fragile body of
a newborn
reposing on the page
it is unique and vast
like plain confession of passion
this piece of paper is all
I have this very moment
a solitude of twilight
in the horizon manifest pain
I touch life
and the memory of it
escapes
like the smoke
of this flaming
piece of paper. . .

172

Dream Poetry

There was only a narrow slit
left between these eyes,
to survive and nowhere else?
the prospect was a sort of madness
somewhere in that peninsular solitude
my lands would become addicted to dreams
with half-shut eyes, looking out
attempting
as vaguely as objects are
or the motes of continuance;
these visions were freed as wealth
in sinister currency,
the mind is sleep
these eyes drugs
hello
expanding monuments
with the last man
sober in your
granite
resembling
an arching
thick empty
emptiness

nihilistic poetry

chance

Window of Love

This is my chance
to render existence
beautiful, justify it all
this is my chance
to leave a mark
in the thicket of irrelevance
that encircles life
this is my chance to create a gem
of poetry and longing

the universe
I see
is but a sketch
an attempt
the purest game

miracle comes in between
the things that are by chance real
I love its
magic

I am touching
the soul with silence
– that art thou
stargazing the mind

this is my chance
to suffer
the wisdom of solitude

my only voice
to reach out
to
you

Modern Poetry Blog

more blah

Life Ad Infinitum

add to me ad infinitum
fasten echoes around my laughter
conduct time by its vulgar silhouette
return the black that eroded your eyes
oh my what an endless effect
the cause of your choices
an observation racing the light,
is that the bloated noise I call meaning
by the leaves that crawl as outsiders
on the even solitude of the street
add to me more becoming
while I endure mortality as an empty receptacle
that nests these parcels of private history –
these wobbly extensions of the void,
tucked away in those gaps
that condense life into blah.

nihilistic poetry

They were there…

There they were, shattered

sidewalks murderous sidewalks

frozen in their disorder, fractured by black color

and had to reach down

and pain their unfeeling scars

but this is not about sidewalks,

it resembles that primordial awe

or the seven cold nights of tribesmen

it intimates with old necessity

and the heavy mist that kills without moving

because further down by the hollow blackness

of cracked sidewalks and rapid decay

desasosiego, was called once in Spanish

spontaneous hymns of indigent earth

shadowless religions with no clouds on their backs

noiseless disaster tamed by echoed habits

stepping beyond – further into hopeless air

and with it, the truth concealed

hidden encounters with the ultimate Inexplicable

certainly having probed the depths of terror

the animosity of rebellion and the flakes of solitude

in what seems like ages of torment and desasosiego

by the unknown light of trembling – hardened

frozen and broken like irrelevant sidewalks

forgiving the ancient errors of willing blindness

alone, amongst these detached blocks of cold cement

my finger slithered their gaps,

and call me mad, lost and nocturnal – again,

I was nowhere, in calm beauty:

my irrelevant isolation.

Tinges of blue

I left the office shy of two o’clock

gaining inside a shudder that could reach

just beyond the boundary of solitude.

I raised this old neck of mine

the sky was me.

Belonging to dreams we no longer dare to glimpse

futures too powerful too bear

fears that out of plain habit

covered me like husks of wisdom.

So eternally blue – with the intensity of an S

similar to the smell of dawn, depths of now

bright as selflessness

blue as sky.

A kind of rejoicing, a mystic’s forgotten book

and the glory of erased words!

TO return, live a thousand sleeps

one more lonely death

varying degrees of godless hours

those dissipated moments

hungry of freedom, so easily obscured.

Bury me in lands of mute plants.

Blind pasts, unimportant futures.

The sky was me, I turned

I had gone away… hands overflowing possibility.

Go back to Beyond Language

Trapped in nothingness

It seems to be I am locked inside this excessive silence. That while I look up into the hazy azure of the sky or into the windy skies of night I discover an impenetrable void, a silence that cannot be breached, a solitude that is here to stay. My arms plead with desperation for a sign, my ears are on a pilgrimage in search of a sacred word – a confirmation that life can be trusted. A revelation or miracle that can transform these wild gyrations of nonsense into a lively and trustworthy universe. Long tunnels of agony and atrophy seem to be the destiny of those that aspire to awaken and revive human life from its muddled lethargy. But being trapped inside an inescapable chasm, I have only the ignoble expanse of space to address and all of creation turns its back on me and answers back in SILENCE. I am not insightful enough to interpret my own frustrations, I cannot tell if it is a general trend in this new age or if I stand alone in this inexplicable confusion. Furthermore, the only remedy comes in strings of lyrical eruptions that at first sight seem vague and meaningless, but are in fact projections of the real ambiguity and hollowness that resides deep within. It is unnecessary to find coherence when one is no longer servant to the tyrant of reason, it is superfluous to propound theories when the intellect is too weak to grasp reality. So, the image is inevitable: floating in cold nothingness, silent solitude. A journey through emptiness, a constant motion through space finding every now and then a naked planet, an aura of beauty and patiently collecting the dust of time in expectation of a glorious sun – surrendering to the all-powerful ground of being.