run your naked ditch shiny hurt on the stool of ass mission of fingers making murder in my eyelashes of grieving love’s cake, eat now or be eaten by the insect with deathly stomach my aims of dying like a loose hair falling somewhere when in a jerk you hop off the dream.
I only dream
of filling the body with dry sand
to relegate desire to veins of darkness
flowing relentlessly towards a dragging sea –
if hands and fangs were buried in true illusion,
thirsty accidents and ultimate beginnings;
the taste of polar penumbras
to blind the eyes with totality
defoliate the skin as absurd autumns
to lay thought as a carpet over existence
and roll down the slopes of nothingness,
as the denuded birds throw off their wings
to join the worms wallowing in the mud
of my ancient heart.
To be a bed
where two flies procreate
a scoop of nailed flight to be a hiding of swirls
and heavy wax hairs
alpine view here with the roar of a minute to be born of sperm and fact
trapped between two breasts of dirty fruit
feeding from black poisonous miracles to be fallacies of waste
to have animals over you scavenge for dumb teeth to be a gulf of chewed respirations
aging dawn of wings
crashing against oceanic mirrors to be a bed of cactus
where virgins report to god
and sacrifice their blood to color
the brick walls of love to be all the circles of anatomy
but not the equations of multitudes
the guilty resin of interpenetration to be a savant sleeping under
hoards of cannibalistic dreams.
By government of limbs empty networks of rules my lost skull finding fragments of hope in books and lasting gulps
I remember the bishop Berkeley, first time I read his lucid portrayal of idealism I saw myself as pigment in god’s mind
there was Rimbaud the seer a daemon of callous dreams beckoning the loving beasts of my heart to get drunk and fornicate with the chaos outside
vagueness is ubiquitous when Cioran excommunicated truth from reality I leapt from definition to obscurity like a child in mud fields turning invisible by the camouflage of dirt
alea jacta est poetry was born playthings of appearances and the images started to gather like a book of things that never existed behind the universe
there was still coffee – regret – futility and then Pessoa opened up the only truth I ever believed in, he unwrapped it with casual numbness, as mechanically as you take off a shoe: life is a superfluous waiting for death with no definite aim it definitely kills us and whatever we say or don’t say will never change a thing
so I write in the penumbra of absurdity as divertissement between sleeps, all the same in the involuntary currents of nothingness drunk with the illusion of sensation, I feign a soul in laughter and despair because of that obscene longing of being poet & chasm.
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