nihilism

of romania

was looking
for a first edition of Cioran
Bucharest centrum
when the clouds started to resemble
huge Russian cathedrals –
the formulas of the shades
when the leaves impress their echo
on the sidewalk
multiplied the shadows of my doubts
was the equation of invisibility
the sole proof of my awareness?
could enlightenment
reemerge
as the metronome of two insect antennae
at the feet of a unambitious cop
sipping his coffee?
I was at the edge
blurred by the stream of accelerating
cosmic mirage
awaiting a cacophony of perception
to belittle the borders of I-ness and other-ness,
corridors of unwavering brilliance
like the eyes of the drunk woman
that woke up moments ago
after dreaming on the sidewalk
that she was a cat
licking with her coarse tongue
the creamy nipples of the
colorless night.

 

 

Poetry 2011

my education

By government of limbs
empty networks of rules
my lost skull
finding fragments of hope
in books and lasting gulps

I remember the bishop
Berkeley, first time I read
his lucid portrayal of idealism
I saw myself as pigment
in god’s mind

there was Rimbaud
the seer
a daemon of callous dreams
beckoning the loving beasts
of my heart to get drunk
and fornicate with the chaos
outside

vagueness is ubiquitous
when Cioran excommunicated
truth from reality
I leapt from definition to obscurity
like a child in mud fields
turning invisible by the camouflage of
dirt

alea jacta est
poetry was born
playthings of appearances
and the images started to gather
like a book of things that never
existed behind the universe

there was still coffee – regret –
futility and then Pessoa opened up the only truth
I ever believed in, he unwrapped it with casual
numbness, as mechanically as you take off a shoe:
life is a superfluous waiting for death
with no definite aim it definitely kills us
and whatever we say or don’t say
will never change a thing

so I write
in the penumbra of absurdity
as divertissement between sleeps,
all the same
in the involuntary currents of nothingness
drunk with the illusion of sensation,
I feign a soul
in laughter and despair
because of that obscene longing
of being
poet & chasm.

21st century Poetry

the pus

Sacred pus
azure tear of honey
illusion final and deathly
broken ache of eternal fragment
mind hidden as noise – butter twilight
brick dishonestly masking the painful
I glimpse and all else is rain and light
sometimes pause, the dark name of time
find me aging in the salt of the vein
thirsty with the mountainous experience
of sex and surface, the glass of self vs. ideal
contact or the collapse of the soft spots of obelisks
dents of fossils because the mother cries of purpose
skeleton breasts and her milk of the loving ineffability
the drug of understanding, my knowledge of futility
your awry focus on the skin, the nostalgia of eye
love in the bite of flesh and smell of age
more is forthcoming involuntarily
by an intelligence of blindness
the sky and its language
in your mouth
the pus
of
me.

 

 

 

Existential Poetry

shadows

There are years
that have made touch
            sediment
on our skins

we are still waiting
for childhood

one that makes toys of truth
vast rivers of ignorance

bird of drunk chance
in the azure of unknown

we are now rock hard dead lives
from our cavernous eyes:
                outside the fleeting world of fantasy

perplexing games naturally there –
we, nevertheless, have chosen dripstone repose

a slow stagnation
the light disappears
and I sense

we were shadows in the sun.

Nihilistic Poetry

a choice of illusion

why choose
sky as volatile
art form

nihilism or
the other side
of beauty

or dimension
as a monstrous step
forward into the
wild

there
in unison
poetry and nature
blend as I stare
towards the
illusion

I chose
to be an insect
cradled in some
unspeakable obscurity

these are great steps
to take
and leaps of sense,
allowing
everything          to be
and           to       be           gone

 

 

of fields

I shall be of slavery
sobbing in the night
when the moon is hidden
behind a fantastic mountain

I shall be of anger
heat upon heat
glowing insanely white
alone in the dawning desert

I shall be of lies
blood gurgling above
as the stars drown
in its sea of disease

I shall be of number
when the bronze prophecy
casts the skeleton of the fields
where children remember nothing

I shall be of incense
a sound perfuming clouds
or a string wringing time
leaving the last drop to dry

 

 

 

Nihilistic Poetry

simulacrum

Simulacrum Poem

the receptor
is fire in the body
smoking as the embers
unite with shadow
over the ultimate
          coat of illusion

the path of the worm
is a flight in the night
this season of suffering
when wisdom is
reaching out to the
         divine
         death
         of the thinker

there’s only music
the ears are my feet
to dance is the fatalistic
         engine of love

         silence.
         pause
the rock
of the sea.

 

 

Poems

the Human

There was never a door
much less an keyhole
no answers to the secret of life

the prophets of despair
proclaimed total obscurity in life
at death everything muddled
forever

the Human
not much more than a succession of acts
performed for an audience of blind eternities

mere rustling of leaves
from the tree of desolation
no trunk to hold on to
no root to call god

so it is to be a function
consciousness
a fluke of evolution
a secondary property of the body
aiding its inconsequential survival

so it is to exist in the universe
that does not exist for the Human
an arbitrary dream with an irrational plot

in the cold ache of waiting
engulfed in lurid perceptions
awaiting the sudden “Cut –
it’s a wrap” of time

merely life… I say
                            merely life

 

Merely Poems

matters of why

I once had a rock
whose dream bordered on nuclei
mountain under incisive noise;
the mechanism of logic
all tender and imprecise –
the causal tornado of action
reward and dissatisfaction –

the rock
broke
in two

there was no more
rock inside the rock

there was emptiness
free unbounded liberty
vast heroic essence
uninterrupted by the nuisance
of knowledge

rolling rocks crumbs
down the precipice
of reality

free at last.

Poems